Today I wanted to just talk to you briefly about how I’m feeling about my current project pan and maybe how I want to approach future pans! I’ve been feeling extremely unmotivated about this project and I wanted to address it because I don’t want to continue with it.
I enjoy Project Pans because it means that I get to use products that I really want out of my collection or products that I want to get my money’s worth out of. During this entire project pan, I was unmotivated to use the majority of the products in the project and it made it very hard to want to talk about it. Sometimes I’d see MASSIVE progress and other times I didn’t see anything. This project, I did a lot of lying about my progress because I just wanted to project gone because I felt the pressure to use it and use it up but I didn’t care about the product and I began to resent it.
An example of this was the Essence lipstick from the Lights of Orient Collection that I had to hunt for online because it was all picked over in Australia. I loved that lipstick and I loved the other one that I had that broke after I used one time (single tear). I felt so trapped being restricted to only one(ish) lip product that I could wear each day and when I do makeup looks, I tend to want to use something different so I would not use it and then feel guilty for not doing so. About a month ago, I felt so frustrated by the restriction to just use this lipstick that I used the whole thing up by covering my whole hand in lipstick. It was almost like this lipstick broke me. I just hated it and for no other reason than this project pan.
I remember thinking “AHA, ITS OVER, NO MORE RESTRICTIONS. I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT NOW’. And that’s just ridiculous. Most other people would say ‘Sarah, what??? That’s such a waste of a lipstick’ and looking back now, of course it is and I regret it. All I needed was a break from the lipstick but I was obsessed with seeing progress and giving you guys something to actually read when I did these updates.
Two other products I cheated on were the Essence Bloom Me Up Highlighter and the Modelsprefer Nude Palette. I did hit pan on the nude shade and I was getting pan on the other matte shades but the lid shade, which I used every day without fail, had NO progress and I can’t even tell you how much I resented the product because I saw so little product from one shade. The Essence highlighter was the same. I’d had it for so long and it left an ashy cast on my face because it’s more suited to winter because my skin is at its palest.
I ended up just tossing a lot of the products because I really hated them and hated being restricted. And for 20 weeks? That’s almost half a year of me not being able to use any fun makeup and if you know me at all, I LOVE using colour because I love being creative. I hate being boxed up and restricted to how I can enjoy my makeup.
Some products I’m still very happily working through because I just thoroughly enjoy the products, like the Physicians Formula Bronze Booster, the ELF Maximum Coverage Concealer, and the MAC Paint Pot in Vintage Selection. I wouldn’t ever cheat with those products because I am using them every day to the best of my ability and I’m seeing enough progress to stay satisfied. Well… except the Bronze Booster but I love the product to death because it is perfect so I’m happy it’s taking me so long to use it up.
So what do I plan on doing now? I am thinking of doing a palette per week or month kind of thing and I am going to try and wear a different lipstick every day so that I use every product that I own and I won’t feel bad for either over using a product or under using it. I don’t like feeling restricted to certain products but I also don’t want to accumulate so many that I forget other products and neglect them entirely. I’m also considering a rotating makeup basket. Whether or not I document it on my blog, I’m not sure but we shall see how I go. I at least learnt a valuable lesson from these project pans that it takes ages to finish a product and it as helped me to curb my spending. I really am critical of products now and I am confident that I can keep reducing my collection to keep it manageable but in my own time, without restriction or expectation.
I hope that you enjoyed the post, even though it was a bit of a fail for me. I do want to stay honest with you guys. I felt like I wasn’t being authentic with these project pan post and I didn’t want that to spiral and turn into other lies that I tell just to keep the blog interesting. How have you found your project pans?
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Au revoir xxx